Halloween Fest ‘O Fun

 Since I have the attention span of a gnat on crack, I flew in about fifty different directions trying to produce a single Halloween-themed thing that might encapsulate the best holiday of the year. Ultimately, I gave up. Halloween is too amazing for such a reduction, so I give you a plethora of Halloween treats including flash fiction; music and movie recommendations; and a mini interview with Paul Tremblay, author of In the Mean Time and A Head Full of Ghosts.

My first recommendation is to stock up on plenty of candy. Twenty pounds should do it. I’ve found that if you don’t answer the door for trick-or-treaters the candy lasts a lot longer. Life Hack!

Unwrap that first bit of chewy goodness and dive in. Here’s something to read while you gnaw. Be careful, you’re in the splash zone:

PIROUETTE

by Lee Thomas

I started dancing because it made me feel young and free and beautiful. It’s been so long since I’ve felt those things.  He thought me silly, said I chased something long turned to dust.  He of the red sports car.  He of the personal assistant named Claire. 

I returned to the art because it protected me, and on this hallowed eve, my talents are ripe.

Now, I spin in graceful circles. The air whispers over my face.  And he spins, too.  Round and round.  Faster and faster. Nothing but blur. His skin billows, his bones snap and his blood vessels burst, casting sprays of red from his eyes. His ears. His lips.

And we dance through the night.

Movie time!

You’ll need plenty of visual entertainment, and though there are hundreds of movie choices–all appropriate for the season–I’m relieving you of making such hard decisions. I’m considerate like that.

Movie 1 (Softcore): The Fog (1980). The film is thick with atmosphere and above average performances. A bit of a ghost story. A bit of zombie action. A whole lot of creepy.

Movie 1 (Hardcore): Trick ‘r Treat (2007). This anthology film is a beautiful quilt of sutured horror tropes that skips right along from one great, grisly set piece to the next.

Movie 2 (Softcore): Halloween (1978). It’s a tradition for heaven’s sake. Plus, it’s a great movie.

Movie 2 (Hardcore): Audition (1999). The movie leads you in softly. You’re not even sure you’re watching a horror film, but it’s still remarkably engaging as the characters develop. Then “the bag” happens, and it’s a fast ride into extremely uncomfortable territory. I love this movie, but I’ll probably never watch it again, because I found it that unnerving.

Movie 3 (Softcore): Night of the Living Dead (1968). Take some nightmares to bed with you. Even more than 40 years later, the movie is creepy as hell. This little, indie film set the groundwork for the biggest horror trend of the last decade, and it remains superior to most of its successors.

Movie 3 (Hardcore): The Mist (2007). This is probably my favorite horror film of the past ten years, and yeah, it’s not hard hardcore, but the “spider” scene… ewww. It’s an amazing creature feature with an ending that makes grandma cry and makes grandpa say, “That ain’t right.” I recommend the black and white version if you can get your hands on it.

Special movie shout out to Hellbent (2004), which is a top-notch slasher flick set on Halloween Night. A guy in a devil costume stalks (and beheads most of) a group of gay men during the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. Solid practical effects and a few surprises make this a fine addition to any slasher-flick binge-watch.

Throughout the evening you will need mosh breaks in order to burn off the sugar rush. Here are my choices for Halloween Mosh Musts.

“Partytime” by 45 Grave. Featured in the brilliant Return of the Living Dead, the tune is essential to set the evening in motion. Do ya’ wanna party? It’s party time!

“Wrathchild” by Iron Maiden for it’s sheer aggression. Play it very, very loud.

“Gonna Get Close to You,” by Queensryche. When it’s over you’ll feel like someone’s looking over your shoulder the rest of the night.

“Raining Blood,” by Slayer. No explanation necessary.

“Like Light to the Flies,” by Trivium. With lines like, “This seems to suit you better, bleeding out the eyes,” it’s a natural.

“The Dark,” by Metal Church. Because… Metal Church.

“American Witch,” by Rob Zombie, though “Dragula” will do in a pinch.

“Last” by Nine Inch Nails. The song was classic long before it tagged the ending credits of The Cabin in the Woods.

“Disposable Teens,” by Marilyn Manson. How many horror movie soundtracks has this tune infected?

“The Ripper,” by Judas Priest. I recommend the Unleashed in the East version.

“Pet Cemetery,” by The Ramones. It’s got a slower tempo to ease you back into movie mode.

Special Guest Interview! 

Please welcome Paul Tremblay, who has graciously agreed to an in-depth and no-holds-barred interview.

Lee: Paul, your critically acclaimed novel A Head Full of Ghosts deals with what may (or may not) be possession. If you could possess one body for one day who would it be, and what would you make them wear?

Paul: If I can't go back to the mid-to-late 90's to repossess myself and change my then George-Clooney haircut, then I guess I would possess Jack Haringa and make him wear jeans, Doc Martens, and punk band tee shirts. Just to mess with space and time, you know?

Lee: Indeed. Wise words from a very tall man. Thank you for stopping by. I think we’ve all learned something valuable today.

And with that, your Halloween Fest ‘O Fun is almost at an end. I leave you with one more bit of fiction to chew on with the last nugget of candy corn.

 The irony was lost on none of them as they drew straws.  Six of them sat before the fire, hands trembling as they plucked the matches from one boy’s fist. Outside their attackers groaned and pounded on the walls of the cabin.

They’d thought the mountains would give them isolation from the plague, and to some degree it had.  There weren’t many of the ravenous dead at their door, but there were enough, especially since those inside were fragile.

The food had run out last Tuesday – a week ago, now. Empty cabinets and cupboards. Even the occasional insect eluded their desperate fingers and their saliva-soaked tongues. The six understood the hunger fueling the dead outside. The short straw would fix that, if the remaining five were brave enough to eat.

Have a safe and scary holiday, Folks! Happy Halloween!

Lee Thomas is the two-time Lambda Literary Award- and the Bram Stoker Award-winning author of Stained, The Dust of Wonderland, The German, Torn, Ash Street, Like Light for Flies, and Butcher’s Road, among others. His short fiction can be found in Swallowed by the Cracks, Inferno, Supernatural Noir, The Best Horror of the Year, Vol. 6, and most recently Queers Destroy Horror from Nightmare Magazine. Lee lives in Austin, Texas with his husband John, and their family of animals. You can find him online at www.leethomasauthor.com.